The Oil Change (Priceless?)
1. Go to Auto Zone and spend $50 dollars for oil, filter,
kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Used oil container is full so instead of taking it back to Auto Zone
to recycle, dump it in a hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Open another beer and drink it.
6. Place drain pan under engine & unscrew drain plug.
7. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
8. Have another beer while oil is draining.
9. Poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.
10. Another beer.
11. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
12. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car and throw
kitty litter on oil spilled.
13. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
14. Walk to Juice Creek Store; buy beer.
15. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of
clean oil to gasket first.
16. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
17. Remember drain plug not in and hurry to find drain
plug in drain pan and replace plug.
18. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
19. Bang head on floor board in reaction and begin cussing fit.
20. Throw wrench, cuss and complain.
21. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
22. Beer.
23. Beer.
24. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
25. Beer.
26. Lower car from jack stands and accidentally crush
one of the jack stands.
27. Test drive car
28. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
29. Car gets impounded.
30. Make bail; get car from impound yard.
Money Spent: $50 parts
$12 beer
$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
Total Oil Change: $1337
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